I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
