Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
