69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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