if i can run in heels then i can drive
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
