Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I know her cup size but not her name....
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