maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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