battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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