On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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