yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
