ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
