this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
