Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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