some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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