I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
