we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
