wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
