I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She bit a glass in half.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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