wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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