I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
