if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
