HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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