She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
