PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
this hospital has no fireball
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
