dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Pants are for mortals
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
