I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
