I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
stop calling my apartment porn island.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
