You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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