if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
