I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
