woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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