Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
