I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Enjoy the penises
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
