You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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