I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
