do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
