If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
