I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
