The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
