"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
