WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
