I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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