i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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