I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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