wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
