i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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