all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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