Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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