I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
