Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
