apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
and you fell through a lawn chair
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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