Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Houston, we have a squirter
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
