if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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