I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize