New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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